Onward upward outward....somewhere, anyway

OK

So. You folks who have been following me for the whole wacky ride are entitled to an update. I've been reluctant to post, but here goes....

Things did not go well for me--at all--with the financial aspect of the divorce. Oklahoma is an "equitable division of property" state, rather than a community property state....which gives the judge a great deal of leeway. He could actually have awarded me more than half of the assets, based on comparing my prospects for the future to my former husband's. Somehow the judge considered it an "equitable division" for him to keep the 4000 sq ft house on 4500 acres (with no mortgage) and the children and me to live in 1300 sq ft with my mother, who is 72 years old and continues to work for $12/hr because she can't afford to retire. I was awarded about 1/5 the value of the house itself (not the property it sits on) out of which I have to pay all of my attorney fees and court costs, some of the marital debt, my massage school costs, and the back rent and other debts brought on by his refusal to pay the full amount of the court-ordered support during my massage schooling. He does not even have to pay the unpaid child support. I'm not entitled to any alimony, either, except to pay for psychological care. And I get to pay my own health insurance. He has to continue paying the kids' but--get this-- he called me and offered to send me the cash instead, if I'll go on welfare and sign the kids up for state health insurance.

Do I sound angry? I hope I do.

On the flip side, my arm is finally doing better. I self-medicated with some freaky-new-age home remedies (DMSO anyone?), and got some good relief. And I continue to do the physical therapy exercises. AND I do some light exercises with my client who has Parkinsonism, which seem to help me even further. I still have pain when I work it, but the pain does not linger long at all. I have not done a full massage since I hurt myself in June, but I am going to try it out on a family member, soon. (I have done some brief, light hara (tummy) work and foot/hand massage on my client with Parkinsonism.) Still no word on the licensing moratorium, but as I've said before, there will be ways around that.

I have an appointment with a guidance counselor at the college next week. I will have residency in a few months, and may be eligible to start classes this summer. In the fall, for sure. I am going to pursue a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor accreditation with an A.A. or A.S. through the community college, then continue working toward my Master's. I can work in treatment centers, and with organizations such as W.E.A.V.E (to which I have become devoted) and a little private practice--without calling myself a therapist--with the CADC. I am excited about embarking on this leg of my journey.

I am settling in to life in CA. I can be happy here for the forseeable future. My opportunities for schooling--and training in various bodywork/psych techniques--are so abundant and accessible here. I love being near my sisters and their children. And I love being so close to the ocean/mountains/lake/river and wonderful good fresh produce. We've been given tons of kiwi, oranges and grapefruit from neighbors yards the past couple of months. I neglected my sister's fig and pomegranate trees this fall, but the kids scarffed up her cherries this summer. I'd started coveting a Victorio Strainer in recent weeks, plotting to make up for lost opportunity....then realized she's in a rent house and will be moving before I can take advantage of this year's bounty. >sigh<

So all in all, life is good. Different from what I'd hoped, but good. I'm hoping to get out to TN again this summer (and back for good eventually.....)

Peace to your souls!