My Life in a Nutshell

So....

I'm STILL waiting to get divorced. I signed a settlement agreement back in early November, and fully expected him to sign it. He did not...had six or seven changes to make to it, most of which were fine, but one of which I wanted to stay as-is (He had already agreed verbally to everything, and it was basically what his attorney had written in the first place.) He sent less $$ for December than he had been ordered to send and when I asked him for it, he flipped out (and I flipped right after him and we did the big blaming, shaming addict/co-addict dance) and now he says we will just go to court. (Okee-fine. Whatever.)

Also he is fighting my changing my name to Hafen. WHY!? You ask. (I know you asked because EVERYONE asks.) Because he can. Because Oklahoma law provides for me to change my name to a "previously used legal name," and I have never used Hafen legally. He could just sign the papers and the judge would OK it, but, because he CAN jerk me around about it, he is. So I'll have to do it here in TN once the divorce is final...or maybe before. I'll have to find out about that.

I HOPE to be heading out to CA in March (if the divorce is final and I have the $$) to a couple of massage schools. I can get in two months the 500 hours TN requires for licensing. I plan to practice as a massage therapist while going to college.

OK...now the eight kids: (the names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Evelyn is living in Memphis, going to college full time and working part time. She is majoring in Spanish and minoring in Photography. She works for an attorney doing title research. She is dating Jerry semi-seriously.

Oscar is living in Provo, Utah with his wife Tena. He works night-weekends at a residential treatment center for adolescents. He makes sure everyone is alive and behaving (read: sleeping) three times an hour. the rest of the time he spends playing computer games against his boss, or watching movies. Tena is in school to become a paramedic.

Kevin is also in Provo. He is working as a server in a Mexican restaurant, and has applied for the same shift at the same place Oscar is working. He plans to use his down time at work (if he's hired) studying to become an independent film maker.

Louise will be 18 this summer. She graduates highschool in the spring or summer (depending on how quickly she finishes her home school courses). She plans to attend a local community college in the fall. She is learning to play to piano, and doing very well. She is also developing her beautiful singing voice (piano teacher is helping there, too.) She recently bought a car, but does not yet have her license.

Dallas (12) is still a Lego maniac. He builds the most interesting and creative things. he will buy a whole set just to get a particular piece or two that he needs for a creation he is concocting in his head. he is studying harder in math since having confirmed that Lego only hires engineers as designers, and that engineers need to be fluent in math.

Ruby (9) is a budding artist. She loves to draw, paint and sculpt. She and her twin Wilbur (see below) enjoy soccer and play on the same team. She is very sweet-natured and quiet, but has a great sense of humor.

Wilbur (9) reads voraciously, excels in school (home school) and asks incredibly intelligent questions about all kinds of things--usually when we are in the car. His hair is almost as long as Ruby's. He started out three years ago growing it out to donate to Locks of Love (Louise and Ruby have both done that). But now that it is long enough, he doesn't know what he will look like with short hair, and doesn't want to cut it.

Carlson (4) is an absolute joy and a sore trial! He is very strong-willed and opinionated and I have spoiled him somewhat (ok, shamelessly). But he has a very sweet nature and a vivid imagination. He has vivid nightmares and recalls them totally on waking. (One recurring theme is his having to go to jail....) I received a dreamcatcher keychain in the mail several months ago (after sending $10 to the Lakota Sioux Children's fund)and it has just hung on the key hook in my kitchen. About a week ago he asked me what it was, and has been sleeping with it ever since.

The cat is black, male, still un neutered (shame on me) and makes a mad dash for the door every time it opens now that the weather has gotten colder(unless I notice him and say in a low, severe voice...."Ca-at! Don't you dare!" Then he just lays down and acts like he wasn't planning to go anywhere, let alone in the house. (Rental agreement says 'one outside cat' but we let him in last winter cuz he was a tiny baby and it was SOOO cold.)

So that's me.

The School of S&M

That's SHIATSU and MASSAGE. hehehe

I just finished my first week of class and it was OUTSTANDING. I learned a LOT. And I realized that I am going to need a LOT of practice before I feel comfortable putting myself out there as a professional. I am eager to try out my new skills (over and over) on family and friends when I return to Tennessee in May.

The children were well cared-for by my sister, and by Louise when my sister was gone (which was a lot). The younger kids did not call my cell phone at all, which is incredible. (At home there is a curve about 10 minutes from my house, and I can count on my phone ringing right about that time EVERY time I leave the house. No matter where I am going or how long I will be gone.) So I just decided not to call them and remind them that I was gone. I'll be gone for seven of eight weeks and there will be plenty of time for them to miss me. (In April I won't have a break at all, so I won't see them for a month unless they come down to see me.)

The School of Shiatsu and Massage is on the grounds of Harbin Springs, on the side of the mountain above California Wine Country. I took pix of the view coming down the mountain this afternoon, and hope to get them posted this weekend. Harbin Springs is a retreat facility, and community. It is owned by NACOB (New Age Church of Being) and is inhabited by aging hippies (drug free, however). Very relaxed atmosphere. The pools are hot and/or cold spring fed. There is a hot pool at 112 degrees, a cold pool at 60 degrees, and a warm pool at 97 degrees. I spent every evening dipping in and out of the hot & cold, and then soaking in the warm pool under the stars. It was magnificent. Four of my seven weeks of training will be at the School of S & M, and I am so looking forward to being there again. (The food was also wonderful. I had signed up to be just vegetarian while I was there, but the carnivore food was just too good to pass up!!)

My training was VERY intensive, but also a lot of fun. I got overwhelmed toward the end of EVERY day I was there, but I am amazed at how much I have retained. And I am not exhausted, surprisingly. I think the time to rejuvenate in the pools, along with the relaxed atmosphere, helped balance the deluge of information pouring into my brain (and body). We massaged and were massaged at least twice each day, and we spent the first three days doing it on the floor. My instructor is named Shinzo, and he is from Japan. He uses the floor for most of his work, and involves his entire body in the massage. It is amazing. I learned a lot from him.

The class group was great. We had a wonderful rapport together--eighteen students. There were EXCELLENT boundaries all around. Everyone was very supportive of EVERYONE. Not a bit of nit-picking, and NO schmoozing. It was an excellent group of people to work with. Many will be returning next week, and at least one will also be there with me for Watsu 1 & 2 in April.

Sleeping in the van was very comfortable. I left my van with my sister to haul all of my and her kids around in, and she sent her smaller van with me. It has a bed-convertible back seat, and screened side windows. She tossed in a very nice therapeutic foam mattress topper and I was VERY comfortably set up. Evidently, sleeping in the classroom was not a very sonorific experience, according to my classmates who opted for that. Lots of coming and going, I guess, and an outdoor motion-sensing light that shined in through the glass doors. Several who started out sleeping in the classroom ended up sleeping in their cars as best they could. (Others tent camped.)

Thanks again to all of you who have helped me to make this happen! I appreciate your financial support, prayers and good thoughts!

"He" only sent half of the monthly maintenance for March, but I came anyway. I couldn't let all the help from you all, and my personal efforts be thwarted by him again. I'm mostly able to stay in a place of abundance and joy about where I am, rather than restriction and fear about where I might end up! I know good things are in store for me, and I'm "hopefully curious" about the future!! Can't wait to share what I'm learning with you all!!