totalled

That is pretty much giving away the punch line, but....

On Labor Day the kids and I spent the morning with my sister and her girls at the river. We left around noon, about the time everyone else started turning up.

We were sitting at my sister's house, visiting, and I heard a noise that sounded like a baseball hitting the side of the house. Just a big "whump." I asked her if she had heard it and she said it might have been her air conditioner coming on, cuz its really loud. (Her house is situated so all the bedrooms and bathrooms are between the living areas and the street.) A few minutes later, a neighbor knocks on the door. I was already up, headed down the hall, so I answered it. He says, "Both your cars are toast." I said, "Pardon me?" He: I guess both those cars out on the road are yours. They're toast." Me: I only have one car out there, but what are you talking about?" He: Your car has been in a wreck." Me: HOW? He: Big truck.

He gestures for me to follow him, which I do.

And there, at the end of the driveway, is my minivan serving as one piece of "toast" for a Ford Explorer sandwich. The other piece of "toast" was a BIG, OLD (80's), chevy silverado pick up. A young man, with his girlfriend as a passenger, was driving the pick up. He was not paying attention to the fact that the road has a curve in it. He never applied the brakes, never knew til it happened that he was heading for a car accident. the police officer asked what he was doing and he mumbled it to her. she raised her eyebrows and said, "You're kidding, right? I hope you learned your lesson."

He plowed into the Explorer almost head-on and pushed it around, so he was crunched into the drivers side, and the passengers side was pushed sideways into my car. The owners of the Explorer (next door neighbors) were gone and couldn't be reached on their cell phones. They came home after the big truck had been towed away, to find their car turned 180 degrees from where they parked it(neighbors pushed it to get the back end out from where it was blocking the street), and crunched on three sides in the front. All she could do was stare and say, "What...? What...? What...?"

My sis lives right on the river parkway, and the fluids from all three cars were running down the street drain that has a tile sign imbedded in the cement saying, "Goes to river; Do not dump." Crazy stuff. My minivan is totalled, with a new engine that has less than 3000 miles on it. So I bought Evelyn's car from her while I was out in Memphis, and she bought Louise's car that has been sitting out at some good friends' place trying to be sold.

Quite the ride, this life. We feel fortunate that it happened while we were safely inside. i had said just a few minutes before, "get your stuff together so we can go home" and sis had said. "Aw you don't have to leave just yet..." Dodged a bullet, I guess.

Buddanyway I did another bat-out-of-hell drive from Oklahoma to mom's house. About 1800 miles in 36 hours. And it was okay! Lots more tollerable in a little compact than in a Penske truck!!

D.I.V.O.R.C.E

So...

I decided not to blog too much about this, as it's a public blog and there actually ARE some innocents to protect.

But we had the hearing, on FRIDAY, not Wednesday as was planned. I almost had a melt-down when my attorney called and said, "I hope you haven't left yet." When I told him I was sitting on a friend's couch in Memphis and it was absolutely not an option to postpone it again, he said the judge was NOT willing to do it on Wednesday but would "move it to Friday, if you want, or to another day altogether. So the question is: Do you want to do it Friday, or come back again?"

So my whole self-care schedule--with bookend therapy sessions, a friend to accompany me to the hearing, decompressing back in Memphis for a day before returning home--all went out the window. But it was OK, cuz I found in the end that I am a big-enough girl now to do it myself. (And staying with my friends in Wilburton was wonderful. They are a kind, loving couple who know pretty much the whole story of my marriage and separation.)

The hearing went...fine. It was miserable as "his" attorney is a dragon lady. (For those of you who know her, picture Michelle Rappaport in all-out bull-dog mode and replace all her love and concern with pure animosity, and you've got his attorney.) But I was able to say what I needed to say, and I feel the judge will be as fair as Oklahoma law will allow him to be. He felt it was too complicated to rule from the bench (which I anticipated), so will "summarize the court's findings" and ask one of the attorneys to write the decree.

So its all done but the fat lady singing. Not sure what all the jots and tittles are, but it's basically over. If you want details, call me, or email me. As I've said to some of you, I feel like a snake who has shed its skin.