Two Funnies

I love little kids and the way they think, interpreting things through what they know.
Funny #1

I am teaching poetry to the 2nd-5th graders in our homeschool co op. (2nd gragers rebelled against being in with K and 1st, so came to my class.) The youngest in the class, Leif, is just seven. I taught them about meter, stressed and unstressed syllables, using their names, and their bodies. "An easy wasy to remember it is if you're stressed, you're kinda on your toes, and when you're unstressed, you're pretty relaxed." So we went around the room and said everyone's full name, rising up on our toes when the syllable was stressed, and flopping rag doll-ish when the syllable was unstressed. A couple of weeks later we did the same thing with lines of poetry.

Leif, my little seven year old, really got it. He would raise his hand every time we read a poem and would say, "It went, DAH duh, DAh duh, DAH duh...." or whatever. A couple of weeks ago he raised his hand and said, "It went UPSET, not upset, not upset, UPSET, not upset, not upset....."

Funny #2

The twins are learning keyboard from video at home this semester. A few days ago, Ruby was practicing a new song. It was in a minor key, with lots of diminished chords--kinda saddish. Carlson came up to me and said, "Mom, this song is hurting my feelings."

The Fat Lady Ain't Singin'

So the divorce is not over YET. My attorney filed a Motion for Reconsideration, because there were several of the judge's findings in the summary that were inaccurate, and the ordered support payment was therefore way under poverty level. I think the judge was trying to be fair, but did not have all the convoluted information straight. N E way...

What next?

Because I was driving and driving and driving on my birthday, and because we want to start getting together as a family every other Sunday...we celebrated my birthday at my sis's house yesterday. We were not there 10 minutes when Carlson needed something out of the car (My mother's car, actually, because my new car (Evelyn's old car) would not start Saturday morning, deadernadoornail...but that's another blog)

ANYway...Carlson needed something out of the car, so I headed out there to help him get it, stepped off my sister's porch and turned my right ankle HARD on the uneven concrete, caught myself with my left foot and turned it, too, then hit my knees and sprawled out on her driveway amid gasps and hisses from the entourage of kids who had followed me out to the car. Leah (my neice) went to get her mom as I lay there saying, "I don't know!!" to the rapidly repeated question, "Are you OK, Mom?"

I hurt like hell. Both ankles were screaming and I was trying really hard not to. Sis came out and said, "Oh my Gosh! Do you want me to help you up? (I shook my head no.) No. You just want to stay there a minute and recover." She started to retreat, then turned back and said, "Shall I just kick you while you're down?"

Hehehe.

We went on to have a nice time together, with two of my sisters and the one remaining brother-in-law and some of their kids, and a nephew from another sis who came up from college. And, of course, Savage the Wonderdog, my nephew's part Catahula, part unknown origin, amazing puppy.

I spent the afternoon and evening with ice on my right ankle, and when I woke this morning I could not put weight on it. It is not swollen or bruised, though. I just lazed around today alternating ice and heat, and staying off of it as much as possible. (Crawling was not very effective cuz my knees are sore from the fall.) It is a little better this evening, but I'll have to baby it for awhile. (The left ankle is sore, but functional.)

I have a physical therapy appt tomorrow for my right elbow/arm...that I injured in JUNE.

>sigh<

totalled

That is pretty much giving away the punch line, but....

On Labor Day the kids and I spent the morning with my sister and her girls at the river. We left around noon, about the time everyone else started turning up.

We were sitting at my sister's house, visiting, and I heard a noise that sounded like a baseball hitting the side of the house. Just a big "whump." I asked her if she had heard it and she said it might have been her air conditioner coming on, cuz its really loud. (Her house is situated so all the bedrooms and bathrooms are between the living areas and the street.) A few minutes later, a neighbor knocks on the door. I was already up, headed down the hall, so I answered it. He says, "Both your cars are toast." I said, "Pardon me?" He: I guess both those cars out on the road are yours. They're toast." Me: I only have one car out there, but what are you talking about?" He: Your car has been in a wreck." Me: HOW? He: Big truck.

He gestures for me to follow him, which I do.

And there, at the end of the driveway, is my minivan serving as one piece of "toast" for a Ford Explorer sandwich. The other piece of "toast" was a BIG, OLD (80's), chevy silverado pick up. A young man, with his girlfriend as a passenger, was driving the pick up. He was not paying attention to the fact that the road has a curve in it. He never applied the brakes, never knew til it happened that he was heading for a car accident. the police officer asked what he was doing and he mumbled it to her. she raised her eyebrows and said, "You're kidding, right? I hope you learned your lesson."

He plowed into the Explorer almost head-on and pushed it around, so he was crunched into the drivers side, and the passengers side was pushed sideways into my car. The owners of the Explorer (next door neighbors) were gone and couldn't be reached on their cell phones. They came home after the big truck had been towed away, to find their car turned 180 degrees from where they parked it(neighbors pushed it to get the back end out from where it was blocking the street), and crunched on three sides in the front. All she could do was stare and say, "What...? What...? What...?"

My sis lives right on the river parkway, and the fluids from all three cars were running down the street drain that has a tile sign imbedded in the cement saying, "Goes to river; Do not dump." Crazy stuff. My minivan is totalled, with a new engine that has less than 3000 miles on it. So I bought Evelyn's car from her while I was out in Memphis, and she bought Louise's car that has been sitting out at some good friends' place trying to be sold.

Quite the ride, this life. We feel fortunate that it happened while we were safely inside. i had said just a few minutes before, "get your stuff together so we can go home" and sis had said. "Aw you don't have to leave just yet..." Dodged a bullet, I guess.

Buddanyway I did another bat-out-of-hell drive from Oklahoma to mom's house. About 1800 miles in 36 hours. And it was okay! Lots more tollerable in a little compact than in a Penske truck!!

D.I.V.O.R.C.E

So...

I decided not to blog too much about this, as it's a public blog and there actually ARE some innocents to protect.

But we had the hearing, on FRIDAY, not Wednesday as was planned. I almost had a melt-down when my attorney called and said, "I hope you haven't left yet." When I told him I was sitting on a friend's couch in Memphis and it was absolutely not an option to postpone it again, he said the judge was NOT willing to do it on Wednesday but would "move it to Friday, if you want, or to another day altogether. So the question is: Do you want to do it Friday, or come back again?"

So my whole self-care schedule--with bookend therapy sessions, a friend to accompany me to the hearing, decompressing back in Memphis for a day before returning home--all went out the window. But it was OK, cuz I found in the end that I am a big-enough girl now to do it myself. (And staying with my friends in Wilburton was wonderful. They are a kind, loving couple who know pretty much the whole story of my marriage and separation.)

The hearing went...fine. It was miserable as "his" attorney is a dragon lady. (For those of you who know her, picture Michelle Rappaport in all-out bull-dog mode and replace all her love and concern with pure animosity, and you've got his attorney.) But I was able to say what I needed to say, and I feel the judge will be as fair as Oklahoma law will allow him to be. He felt it was too complicated to rule from the bench (which I anticipated), so will "summarize the court's findings" and ask one of the attorneys to write the decree.

So its all done but the fat lady singing. Not sure what all the jots and tittles are, but it's basically over. If you want details, call me, or email me. As I've said to some of you, I feel like a snake who has shed its skin.

You've heard this story before....

So I have a divorce date.... September 19th. Anyone setting odds?

And the massage moratorium has been amended so that I can practice in an already existing establishment. I'm following some leads on that...

But, my arm is still not in shape to work. (For those who don't know, I fell down a friend's stairs several weeks ago and injured my right elbow. It's never gotten okay.) I have another appt with the doc on Aug 21. I think we are going to try a cortisone shot.

I really, really, really just want to go "home" to TN, but I know I have work to do here. I know I came here for some reason other than to crash and burn. I am trying to stay curious about what that reason is, but admit I'm finding it difficult to be optimistic.

Y'all call me or sumfin.

If it weren't for bad luck....

So...
This is totally weird and random, but true.

You might recall that part of the reason I moved is because I could get licensed to practice massage here with the training I already have. Okay, get this: Monday evening the city council put a moratorium on licensing new massage therapists. The moratorium could last from two months to two years.

(I do not know why. They said they'd email me a copy of the resolution, but I've not seen it yet.)

BEWARE: THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FAIL TO PASS ON THOSE EMAILS